GOOD TRADE

Two old-timers met for their usual morning coffee. One said, "I got a dog for my wife this weekend."

"Good trade," his friend responded.

I AM THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

I am the Christmas spirit.
I enter the home of poverty, causing pale-faced children to open their eyes wide in pleased wonder.
I cause the miser's clutched hand to relax and thus paint a bright spot on his soul.
I cause the AGED to renew their youth and to laugh in the glad old ways.
I keep romance alive in the heart of childhood and brighten sleep with dreams woven of magic.
I cause eager feet to climb dark stairways with filled baskets, leaving behind them hearts amazed at the goodness of the world.
I cause the prodigal to to pause a moment on his wild, wasteful way, and send to anxious love some little token that released glad tears - tears which wash away the hard lines of sorrow.
I enter prison cells, reminding scarred manhood of what might have been, and pointing forward to good days yet to come.
I come softly into the still, white home of pain; and lips that are to weak to speak just tremble in silent, eloquently gratitude.
In a thousand ways I cause the weary world to look up into the face of God and for a little moment forget the things that are small and wretched.
I am the Christmas spirit.

CHRISTMAS

The Christmas season is a special time of year. Only the most cynical scrooge thinks otherwise.

But, what makes it so special? After all, it is the most stressful of holidays, and according to the experts, the most stressful time of the year. And yet, we find ourselves smiling more often, enjoying the lights, singing along with the holiday music, and even getting a lift from jostling with busy shoppers in crowded stores and malls.

Perhaps it's because Christmas is the one time of year when we forget our differences and concentrate on our sameness. We give gifts... which means we have to consider the needs of someone else.. to become more like that person.

We enjoy children.. which means we let the beautiful child in each of us come to the surface and act out a heritage common to all adults.

We celebrate something and someone greater than ourselves.. which means we acknowledge the weakness we share with every other human being.

We hang bright lights and open our doors to friends and neighbors.. which means we forget whatever petty disputes may have divided us during the year.

In other words, for one glorious season of the year we reject the things that separate us one from another, and rejoice in the things that bring us together.

Our likenesses bring joy. Our imagined differences bring distress. No wonder we consider this a special time of year.

A happy child once asked, "Why can't Christmas come every day?" Men of good will might ask the same question. There is no reason why the warmth and good feelings of Christmas have to disappear as fast as a drumstick on a child's plate. Ben Franklin observed, "A good conscience is a continual Christmas." If we in American can develop the skill to make Tommy's iPad and Suzy's Wi console last for years, can't we develop a spiritual force that will keep the spirit of Christmas alive for 264 more days?

OLD AND DUMB

Some of my ancestors were not very good looking or bright. Genealogy provides some assurance of those facts. One of my ancestors came across the plains in a covered wagon. When I looked at an old photograph of him, I understood why the wagon was covered.

He was not only unattractive, he also wasn't very smart. He organized a loan company, loaned out $2 million and skipped town.

He organized his own mafia. He tied his victims together by their heads and shot them in the hands.

He was told to blow up a car and burned his mouth on the tailpipe.

His mother would tie a pork chop around his neck so the dog would play with him.

For Christmas, his parents gave him a toy train with three miles of straight track.

We need...DIRT ROADS!

What's mainly wrong with society today is that too many DIRT ROADS have been paved.

There's not a problem in America today - crime, drugs, education, divorce, delinquency that wouldn't be remedied, if we just had more DIRT ROADS.

DIRT ROADS have character. People that live at the end of DIRT ROADS learn early on that life is a bumpy ride. That is can jar you right down to your teeth sometimes, but it's worth it if at the end is home, a loving spouse, happy kids and a dog.

We wouldn't have near the trouble with our educational system if our kids got their exercise walking a DIRT ROAD with other kids, from whom they learn how to get along.

There was less crime in our streets before they were paved. Criminals didn't walk two dusty miles to rob or rape, if they knew they would be welcomed by five barking dogs and a double-barreled shotgun.

And there were no drive-by shootings. Our values were better when our roads were worse.

People did not worship their cars more than their kids, and motorists were more courteous.They didn't tailgate by riding the bumper or the guy is front would choke you with dust and bust your windshield with rocks. DIRT ROADS taught patience.

DIRT ROADS were environmentally friendly. You didn't hop in your car for a quart of milk. You walked to the barn for milk. For your mail, you walked to the mailbox.

What if it rained and the DIRT ROAD got washed out? That was the best part. Then you stayed home and had some family time, roasted marshmallows and popped popcorn and pony rides on daddy's shoulders and learned how to make prettier quilts than anybody.

At the end of DIRT ROADS, you soon learned that bad words tasted like soap.

Most paved roads lead to trouble. DIRT ROADS more likely lead to a fishing creek or a swimming hole.

At the end of a DIRT ROAD, the only time we even locked our car was in August, because if we didn't some neighbor would fill it with too much zucchini.

WALK THIS WAY

An elderly gentleman was in the drug store and asked the clerk where the talcum powder was.
The clerk responded, "Walk this way."
The gentleman said, "If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder."

"...ONLY THEN HAVE YOU GROWN OLD."

Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old only by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up wrinkles the soul. Worry, doubt, self-distrust, fear and despair - these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit to dust.

Whatever your years, there is in every being's heart the love of wonder, the undaunted challenge of events, the unfailing, childlike appetite for "what's next", and the joy and game of life.

You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt, as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair. In the central place of your heart, there is a recording chamber; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer and courage, so long you are young. When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snow of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then - and only then - have you grown old.

SENIORS DEPORTATION

To help save the economy, the government will announce next month that the Immigration Department will start deporting seniors (instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Older people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.

I'll see you on the bus.

50th ANNIVERSARY

The senior couple were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary at a gala party. As they were cutting the cake, the husband started to cry. Soon, he was weeping uncontrollably. His wife tried to comfort him. "What's wrong honey?"

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the barn being amorous and he held the shotgun on me and told me that unless I married you, I would spend the next 50 years in jail?" the old man asked.

"Yes. I remember," she said.

The old man sobbed and said, "Just think, if we hadn't married, today I would be a free man."

SILVER SNEAKERS (2)

Now is the time that seniors are renewing or signing up for their Medicare Supplemental Insurance for 2012. Some health insurance providers offer a great service called "SILVER SNEAKERS." This is a free program that the insurance companies sponsor to help us gain strength and balance. It's smart of the insurance companies because it really is preventive medicine and I'm confident it in fact is not a cost for the carriers but an investment that generates a return. There is less sickness and fewer doctor visits when we keep in shape. I work with three excellent trainers/instructors and I have seen great benefit from my involvement. Besides getting my heart beating and a little perspiration on my forehead, I have met some very nice new friends. Check to see if your insurance company offers this beneficial service.

ELDERS..WATCH WHAT YOU EAT.

We are constantly being told how important it is to watch our diet. But, consider...

Methuselah ate what he found on his plate,
And never as people do now,
Did he note the amount of the calorie count,
He ate because it was chow.

He wasn't disturbed as at dinner he sat,
Devouring a roast or a pie,
To think it was lacking in granular fat,
Or a couple of vitamins shy.

He cheerfully chewed each species of food,
Unmindful of troubles or fears,
Lest his health might be hurt by some fancy desert,
And he LIVED over 900 years.

UTAH JAZZ/NBA SEASON??

It appears there will not be a National Basketball Association season this year. The players and owners are at a stalemate today. I was very involved with bringing the Jazz to Utah from New Orleans. This photo is of Larry Hatfield and Sam Battistone, owners of the Jazz and me at opening night of the very first NBA game in the old Salt Palace. I was given the honor of tossing up the ball at center court to start the game. Ten years later, David Checketts, Jazz president, again gave me the honor of starting the game for the 10th anniversary of the team in Utah. I love the Jazz and proud that 33 years later I'm still around to be a fan.

WHAT?? ANOTHER OLD COUPLE AT THE DOCTOR JOKE? Yes. See Oct. 11 and Oct. 24 posts.

An older couple was visiting the doctor about the husband's critical health. The nurse explained to the wife that it was important that the husband felt love and affection in order to expedite his recovery. The wife said, "I don't understand. What do you mean 'affection'?"

The nurse said let me show you." She then grabbed the husband and gave him a long passionate kiss. She then said, "See. He should receive such a kiss at least twice a week."

The wife said, "Well, I guess that would be OK. I could bring him in on Tuesday and Thursday if that will be convenient for you."

A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY -IF YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH

Long ago and far away, in a land that time forgot,
Before the days of Dylan, or the dawn of Camelot,
There lived a race of innocents, and they were you and me,
For Ike was in the White House in the land where we were born,
Where navels were for oranges, and Peyton Place was porn.

We longed for love and romance, and waited for our prince,
Eddie Fisher married Liz, and no one's seen him since.
We danced to "Little Darlin," and sang to "Stagger Lee"
and cried for Buddy Holly in the Land That Made Me Me.

Only girls wore earrings then, and 3 was one too many,
And only boys wore flat-top cuts except for Jean McKinney.
And only in our wildest dreams did we expect to see
A boy named George with lipstick, in the Land That Made Me Me.

We fell for Frankie Avalon, Annette was oh, so nice.
And when they made a movie, they never made it twice,
We didn't have Star Trek five, or Psycho Two and Three,
Or Rocky-Rambo Twenty in the Land That Made Me Me.

Miss Kitty had a heart of gold, and Chester had a limp,
And Reagan was a Democrat whose co-star was a chimp.
We had a Mister Wizard, but not a Mr. T,
And Oprah couldn't talk yet in the Land That Make Me Me.

We had our share of heroes, we never thought they'd go,
At least not Bobby Darin, or Marilyn Monroe.
For our youth was still eternal, and life was yet to be,
And Elvis was forever in the Land That Made Me Me.

We never had seen a band that was Grateful to be Dead,
And Airplanes weren't named Jefferson, and Zeppelins were not Led.
And Beatles lived in gardens then, and Monkees lives in trees,
Madonna was Mary in the Land That Made Me Me.

We never heard of microwaves, or telephones in cars,
and babies might be bottle-fed, but they were not grown in jars.
And pumping iron got wrinkles out, and "gay" meant fancy-free,
And dorms were never co-ed in the Land That Made Me Me.

We hadn't seen enough of jets to talk about the lag,
And microchips were what was left at the bottom of the bag.
And hardware was a box of nails, and bytes came from a flea,
And rocket ships were fiction in the Land That Made Me Me.

Buick's came with portholes, and side shows came with freaks,
And bathing suits were big enough to cover both your cheeks
And Coke came just in bottles, and skirts below the knee,
And Castro came to power in the Land that Made Me Me.

We had no Crest with Fluoride, we had no Hill Street Blues,
We had no patterned pantyhose or Lipton herbal tea,
Or Prime time ads for those dysfunctions in the land that Made Me Me.

There were no Golden Arches, or Perrier to chill,
And fish were not called Wanda, and cats were not called Bill.
And middle-are was 35 and old was forty-tree,
And ancient were our parents in the Land that Made Me Me.

But all things have a season, or so we've heard they say,
and now instead of Maybelline, we swear by Retin-A,
They send us invitations to join AARP,
We've come a long way baby, from the Land That Made Me Me.

So now we face a brave new world in slightly larger jeans,
And wonder why they're using smaller pint in magazines.
And we tell our children's children of the way is used to be,
Long ago and far away in the Land that Made Me Me.

LYNN HALL SAID...

"We did not change as we grew older, we just became more clearly ourselves."

MUCH TO BE THANKFUL FOR!

Thanksgiving is a special time of year. It is an opportunity to express in very tangible ways our appreciation and thankfulness for our many blessings. True, we shouldn't need a special day to say "thank you." We should visually and verbally express appreciation every day but Thanksgiving Dy is an opportunity to pause, reflect and demonstrate how thankful we are for sundry and special favors and opportunities. We seniors in particular have much to be thankful for if we are really honest with ourselves.

Saying thanks not only brightens someone else's world, it brightens yours. If you're feeling left out, unloved, unappreciated, forgotten, try reaching out to others. It may just be the medicine you need.

Over 20 years ago, I was walking through downtown Ogden, Utah, my hometown. Memories of my boyhood flooded back as I walked the familiar streets. Then I saw Ethyl Piper, and my mind flashed back to elementary school.

I was in the sixth grade at Lewis Elementary school, more interested in sports than schoolwork and I was not much interested in music class that Mrs. Piper taught. I'm afraid I was somewhat of a troublemaker in the class because I didn't like music and really had no interest. One day, Mrs. Piper stopped in the hallway after school and said, "Freddie, music is great fun. Why don't you come over to my house tonight after dinner and I'll show you." For the next several weeks, she tutored me by having me listen to great music and she got me to the point where I could almost carry a tune.. well, almost. Anyway, I learned to love music and at the callow age of 12, it seemed perfectly natural to me that a working wife and mother had nothing better to do after a hard day of teaching than to tutor me in music.

Then, that day, as I saw her, I realized what an uncommon sacrifice it had been. And, after all of those years, I told her so. "What you did was way beyond the call of duty", I said. "Thank you so much for enriching my life with the love of music." I was rewarded with a surprised smile and a sparkle in her eyes. She called me regularly after that day and we talked about music until she died at the age of 100.

Each human being is yearning for kind words of appreciation

In the novel,"I HEARD THE OWL CALL MY NAME", Margaret Cravens tells of a young minister, Mark Brian, who is sent by his bishop to a remote parish of Kwakiutl Indians in British Columbia. The Indians, he is told, do not have a word in their vocabulary for "thank you." But, Brian soon finds that these people have exceptional generosity. Instead of "SAYING" thanks, it is their custom to return very favor with a favor of their own, and every kindness with an equal or superior kindness. The don't SAY thanks. They DO their thanks.

I wonder if we didn't have a word in our vocabulary for "thank you" would we do a better job of communicating our gratitude? Would we be more responsive, more sensitive, more caring?

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

There is a wooden plaque sitting on the mantle of my fireplace in the family room. It is a large plaque, maybe three feet by one foot. It says in gold letters, "It's a Wonderful Life." I'm not sure how long it has been displayed but I know it is quite a few years.

This morning, I really looked at it a new, different light. A smile crossed my face and I said out loud, "Right on! IT IS INDEED A WONDERFUL LIFE."

Some might ask how I can feel this way with the myriad health problems I have endured in recent years. But, I am alive and many thought I wouldn't be. As the generic time clock moves inextricably onwards, my journey through life to death - that bridge without ramps - nears its end. We moderns have problems facing old age. Before modern medicine, if we hadn't died young of disease we just aged into oblivion without much help from the outside. We are led by natures hand down a gentle and virtually imperceptible slope, bit by bit - she rolls us into this wretched state and makes us familiar with it. We find no shock when youth dies in us ... in essence and in truth, that is a harder death than the complete death of a languishing life or the death of old age.

Languishing need not be the aged's lot.I choose not to "languish." Through all of the incursions to my health, I have recuperated and am living a meaningful live, enjoying reading, gardening, my electronic toys, (iPad, iPhone, Kindle, iPod.) My grandchildren think it's "cool" that Poppy has the fastest thumbs in the west for texting and that I have more friends on Facebook and more followers on Twitter than they do.)

Yes. I know very well that I have lived a long time. However, whatever time I have left, I will live it to its fullest. I want to leave exhausted. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE.

THE DEAD HORSE

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.

But I have discovered during my long business career that modern business because of heavy investment factors, other strategies are often tried with dead horses. Some of those strategies include the following:

1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included.
7. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horses.
8. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired."
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase their speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if a lighter rider would improve the dead horse's performance.
12. Declaring that the dead horse carries less overhead and therefore contributes more to the bottom line than a live horse.
13. rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses.
14. and as a final strategy:
PROMOTING THE DEAD HORSE TO A SUPERVISORY POSITION.

HE DID WHAT???

An elderly couple went to see the doctor. The gentleman went in first. "You are in great shape for a man of 81. To what do you attribute your vigor and good health,?" the doctor asked. The gentleman replied, "Well, I don't smoke. I exercise every day. I watch what I eat but more than anything else I credit the Lord. Every night I pray and ask the Lord to watch over me, to keep me healthy. Why just last night, I had to get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom. I didn't bump into the night stand, I walked right to the door and the Lord turned the light on for me."

The doctor said "That is amazing." The wife then took her turn seeing the doctor. "Your husband is a remarkable man," the doctor told her. "He said that the Lord really watches over him and last night he had to go to the bathroom, he walked to the door and the Lord turned the light on for him."

"Oh NO!" the wife said. "He's peed in the refrigerator again."

UTAH COUNTY - TOP TEN LIST

"Top Ten List" to know that you are in Utah County, (Provo)

10. It's easier to find Jamba Juice, food supplements, Mountain Dew and prescription drugs, than it is to find a cup of coffee.

9. Residents bleed blue, vote red and ignore green.

8. Now that Utah Valley State College has become Utah Valley University, the county has its first real university.

7. The only left wing in Utah County is at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

6. Everyone has a favorite Osmond.

5. When men gather at the 7-11 for a diet coke and a donut, the conversation is peppered with cuss words such a "flip," "scrud," and "Oh my heck."

4. People still talk about BYU's Holiday Bowl victory in 1980 and say it is proof of the true church - overlooking the fact that the players on both ends of the "Miracle Pass" were Catholics.

3. If you complain about bumpy roads, residents will dismiss your complaints. "It is a sign," they say. "fortold in the Book of Mormon, 3 Nephi, Chapter 8, verse 13. "and the highways were broken up, and the level roads were spoiled, and many smooth places became rough."

2 Residents consider Jell-O one of the basic food groups.

1. When you go to a wedding, the mother of the bride is the one who is pregnant.

MORE COMMENTS FROM HATCH SEMINAR

• Some additional thoughts from the Orrin Hatch Senior Seminar:

Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happens to a man.

To resist the frigidity of old age one must combine the BODY, the MIND and the HEART. To keep them in parallel vigor... exercise, study and love.

Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.

QUOTES AND COMMENTS FROM SENIOR SEMINAR

I was a featured speaker at the annual Senator Orrin Hatch Senior Seminar. Here are just a few quotes, comments and comments and excerpts from my remarks.

"Those who love deeply never grow old. They may die of old age, but they die young."

"Old age is always 15 years younger than I am."

"When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable. There is an unspeakable dawn in happy old age. There is a miserable night in grumpy old age."

"About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age."

"The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you're learning, you're not old."

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?" Several men stood up as the lights came on. The elderly lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her. "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a nice Mormon girl?"

I can't tell if my skin is starting to show its age. There are too many wrinkles to see.

I was asked to what do I attribute my old age. I responded by saying, "to the fact that I was born in 1932."

KEEP WORKING?? (See posting.."Retirement." October 8)

If you are retired, but find it is less than fulfilling, you are not alone. Many people learn that retirement is not what was anticipated. I recently was on the elevator in the J. C. Penney Office Building in downtown Salt Lake City. I overheard a conversation of two ladies. One asked, "What are you doing here? I thought you had retired." The other lady responded,, "Yes. I did retire but I am so bored. I have nothing to do. I just came by to see you and some people and talk about my former job. I really miss it."

I think there are many just like that. Retirement is not as fulfilling as anticipated. Going back to work or deciding to continue working after retirement age is a true and growing option for many people. (Current economic conditions also lend support for this concept.)

Some assume that working after retirement age is demeaning. Nonsense!! Working is one of the joys of life.It is the working person who is a happy person. Man was made to be active, and is never as happy as when he is so. It is the idle man who is more frequently the miserable man.

I recently visited a large Wal-Mart store in St. George. I was greeted by a very familiar, smiling face. A gentleman who was a very prominent banking executive in Salt Lake City had retired and moved to Utah's Dixie. He wore the familiar Wal-Mart vest and was merrily saying "Hello and welcome" to arriving shippers. He could see by the expression on my face that I was a little surprised to see my beaming, smiling greeter. He really didn't need to explain but he let me know how very much he was enjoying his new lifestyle. He told me, "Can you imagine how nice it is to be gainfully doing something that hopefully brings a smile to someones face and let them know they are appreciated?" He was sincere. It was obvious to all that he had a zest for life and at the age of 81 was enjoying life abundantly. Success can be reached and measured not so much by position that one is performing in life as by the satisfaction is produces to the giver and receiver. My retired banking friend was very successful in his past full time vocation and also now in his new endeavor. Happiness come from the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply and the think freely.

HE'S TERMINAL

A man went to the doctor. The doctor examined the husband and then asked the wife to come into his office for a confidential report.

"Your husband is in very serious condition. It could be fatal unless he gets very special treatment. It is imperative that he has no stress in his life. He should never be asked to do any chores or pick up after himself. Make certain that every morning he has a nutritious hot breakfast. Lunch should always be right at noon and keep in the mind the five food groups. Don't bother him about financial issues and keep any unpleasantness away from him. Of prime importance is that he will need a great deal of loving affection. It's important that he receives amorous attention at least three times a week."

The wife returned to her husband and he asked, "What did the doctor say?"

She replied, "Sweetie, you're going to die."

INCENTIVE!!

A wealthy, elderly banker had a strong urge to have grandchildren. He had two daughters and two sons and though married for several years they had never gratified his desire for grandchildren. At the annual family gathering on Thanksgiving Day, he chided them gently to bless his old age with grandchildren.

"I haven't given up hope," he said. "Yesterday, I went to the bank and set up a one hundred thousand dollar trust fund to give to the first couple to present me with a grandchild. Now, let us all bow our heads while I say a prayer of thanks."

When he looked up, he and his wife were the only ones left at the table.

YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH AT YOURSELF

How do I know that my youth is all spent? Well, my get up and go and got up and went. But in spite of it all I am able to grin when I recall where my get up has been. Old age is golden - so I've heard it said - but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed, with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup, my eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself, "Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?" and I'm happy to say as I close my door, my friends are the same, perhaps even more.When I was young, my slippers were red, I could pick up my heels right over my head. when I grew older, my slippers were blue, but still I could dance the whole night through. But now I am old, my slippers are black, I walk to the store and puff my way back. The reason I know my youth is all spent, my get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don't mind when I think with a grin, of all the grand places my get up has been. Since I have retired from life's competition, I accommodate myself with complete repetition. I get up each morning, and dust off my wits, pick up my paper and read the "obits." If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead, so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.

RETIREMENT ???

I worked until I was 77 years old. People would regularly ask me "Why are you still working?" My response was always, "Because I want to." After that response they would usually say something like, "You should be relaxing in Hawaii with a large lemonade and a small blonde." Or is it the other way around? I've forgotten. Besides Joyce would object to the large lemonade. With regards to the small blonde, she would say, "Dogs chase cars...but they can't drive."

Some people really look forward to retirement. That's fine. They want to pursue other interests and adjust their lifestyle. Others, like me, would prefer to stay in the workforce for a variety of reasons.

If you look in Funk and Wagnall's Standard Dictionary you will read:

Retirement: "The act of retreating, a secluded place, an act of retiring."
Retire: "to go away or withdraw. to withdraw oneself from business, public life, or active service."
Retired: "Withdrawn from public view. Solitary. Secluded.
Retiring: "Shy. Modest. Reserved. Unobtrusive.

I don't really fit those definitions.

When the retirement age and Social Security established the age of 65 as the retirement age, you must remember in 1933 that was the life expectancy of a male human. Things have changed. People are living longer and healthier than 80 years ago.

Why are so many people working past the age of 65? The reasons vary. Some find a need to work for financial reasons. Others work for a desire of a particular lifestyle. Some have retired and find that is is not as idealistic as planned. Some desire activities of new social interaction.

The Swedish Nightingale, Jenny Lind, made a great success as an operatic singer, and money poured into her purse. Yet she left the stage when singing her best and never went back to it. She must have missed the money, the fame, and the applause of thousands, but she was content to retire and live in privacy.

Once an English friend found her sitting on the steps of a bath house on the sea sands with a bible on her knee, looking out into the glory of the sunset.

They talked and the conversation drew to the inevitable question. "Oh Madame Goldschmidt (her real name), how is it that you came to abandon the stage at the very height of your success?"

"When everyday", was the quiet answer, "it made me think less of this (laying a finger on her bible) and nothing at all of that (pointing to the sunset), what else could I do?"

Yes. there are reasons to retire but there are compelling reasons to keep working. It's an individual thing. Me? I loved working as long as I was able.

STEVE JOBS

My Hero Steve Jobs

One of my great heroes has died. Steve Jobs was a major genius of our time. He has impacted my life (and the lives of tens of millions of others) with the iPhone, the iPod and the iPad. I love these tools and they have dramatically enhanced and improved my quality of life.

A few excerpts from a speech he gave at Stanford University commencement in 2005 is appropriate to this blog.

"My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like this, "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself, "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment of failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Great words from a great man.

YOU'RE A GEEZER IF...

You remember when GAY meant happy and joyful.

You remember when WEED was something you pulled from your garden.

When people wore THONGS on their feet (Gasp).

When there were TELEPHONE BOOTHS on every corner.

When people didn't TWEET, but tooted quite a bit.

When you would CHOKE and CRANK your car to get it started.

When people HITCH-HIKED to get a ride.

You remember what a 45 RPM, 33 1/3 and 78 records were.
Oh, and an "8 Track".

You remember the first time you saw a "wireless" telephone. It was the size of a brick.

On Saturday morning, you could go to the movie house and see a serial, three cartoons, a double feature and get a gift of a "Big-Little Book" for a dime.

An "ICE BOX" was indeed just that and the iceman came every other day with two big blocks.

You never went to bed at night without first bringing in TWO BUCKETS AND A LUMP of coal to bank the stove for the next day. Oh, and don't forget to take out the ashes and clinkers.

Five and Dime stores were in every town. Kresse's. Woolworth. W.T.Grant.

Soda fountains were very popular and Lemon Phosphates, Iron Port and Lime Rickeys were the most popular drinks.

I could go on and on. Most of you.. maybe all of you... have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh well. I'm a true geezer and not many of us geezers "BLOG." ("Blog" isn't even listed in my Funk and Wagnalls Dictionary.)

LESSONS LEARNED

When people see me and ask the question, "Fred, how are you?" I usually respond by saying, "I'm below average but above ground."

I know many people have been concerned about my well being. I appreciate that. However, I don't want speculation about my health and worry about my life. My pancreatic cancer and the later bowel resection surgery were very serious and my prognosis dire. But... I'm doing fine. During my regular check up, my doctor said, "You look good." "Thank you," I said. "You shouldn't," was his reply. "How do you feel?" he asked. "I feel good," I responded. "You shouldn't," he said. Well, I don't know how I look but I know how I feel and whether I SHOULD look good or feel good is immaterial. The thing is, I feel good and that's all that matters.

My birthday on September 29th, was a great day. It marked another year. I figure I have been alive for 673,920 hours. I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat ice cream every single day!

BIRTHDAYS

I have grown old, but never lost life's zest, Because the road's last turns can be the best.

Yesterday was my birthday. It was a glorious day. A day spent with daughters at a lunch at Kristy's business open house. A movie matinee with Joyce and then dinner at home. This morning, breakfast with Joyce and the four daughters and a great (wanted) gift of a new iPad. This Sunday, the entire family, all 29 of us, coming to the house for a family dinner. Even little Jack Dibblee is coming from Olympia, Washington. He's 2 months old so it will be the first time most of the family have ever greeted him.

Some people complain about birthdays. No me. I want to have many more. To stop celebrating birthdays will not stop the clock. You will not keep you young to ignore the day.

MORE THOUGHTS ON AGING (See 8/13; 9/8; 9/12)

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turn grey, and to have my youthful laughs forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn to silver.

As you get older, it's easier to be positive. You care less what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've earned the right to be wrong.

I know I sometimes forget things. but then again, some of life is just as well forgotten. I am convinced that everyone forgets things at every age but as we get older, we worry about forgetting. I remember important things.

Sure over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when your little dog gets sick? But broken hearts are what gives us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

SONS-IN-LAW

Richard Dibblee, Howard Diederich, Fred S., Mark Van Wagoner, John Dahlstrom

"If thy daughters marry well, Thou hast found a son; If not, thou hast lost a daughter."

I never had any sons but had a lot of boys "hanging around." I'm blessed with four outstanding sons-in-law.

SISTER JOAN BACHMAN

Greta Joan Ball Bachman would have been 81 years old this week. She died on January 1, 1996 of heart problems. She had Rheumatic fever as a little girl and was troubled with a weak heart most of her life. In her middle age years, she had a heart valve replaced with a pig's valve and I would call her on the phone and instead of saying. "Hello", I would bellow "Sooeee, Sooee."

Joan (pronounced Jo Ann) was a great big sister. She was very generous with her time and her resources. When in high school, she worked in a fine women's fashion store, L. R. Samuels and became a very successful residential real estate agent in Ogden, Utah.

She loved the Oregon Pacific Coast and her second home in Winchester Bay.

I miss her.

SENIOR WEDDING

Jacob. age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter.
"Are you the owner?"
The pharmacist answers, "Yes."
Jacob: "We're about to get married. do you sell heart medication?"
Pharmacist: "Yes. Of course we do."
Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"
Pharmacist: "All kinds."
Jacob: "How about suppositories?"
Pharmacist: "You bet."
Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"
Pharmacist: "Yes. A large variety. The works."
Jacob: "How about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"
Pharmacist: "Absolutely."
Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"
Pharmacist: "We sure do."
Jacob: "Do you sell wheelchairs, walkers, canes and adult diapers?"
Pharmacist: 'Sure."
Jacob: "Great. We'd like to use this store as our BRIDAL REGISTRY."

SENIOR DISCOUNTS

"I've got good news and bad news," announced my neighbor. "The good news: I got the senior discount at the movie theater last night."

"What's the bad news," I asked.

"I'm 52."

REFLECTIONS ON AGE

I have been reflecting about my age and my life. I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful family and my comfortable and happy life style for less grey hair and a stronger body. As I've aged, I've become more kind to myself, and think less about myself. I have become my own best friend.

I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie (gluten free), or for not hanging up my pants or for buying that latest expensive electronic toy. I'm entitled to a treat, to be messy and to be extravagant. (and my iPhone, my iPad, Facebook, my Twitter and my Kindle 2 provide me a great deal of pleasure.)

(And my grandchildren think it's cool that Poppy has the fastest thumbs for texting in the West for grandfathers and has more "friends" on his Facebook than they do.)

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 am?

Yes. There are advantages of aging. It sure does beat the alternative.

SPEAKING ON BUSINESS

SPEAKING ON BUSINESS was a syndicated radio program heard daily on 12 Utah and eight Idaho stations. I was called the "voice of Utah business" for the 13 years I did The Metro Business Report and then 12 years doing Speaking on Business. So after 25 years of doing a daily show, my last program was aired on April 30, 2010. Health concerns caused me to end this most enjoyable venture. I miss it! Here is a copy of my final script.

This is Fred Ball , Zions Bank, speaking on business.I don't know how many times I have said those words over the past 13 years., but I do know that today will be the last time I say them. Speaking on Business has been an important and most enjoyable part of my life, but circumstances now make it appropriate that I turn the pleasure of hosting the program to someone else.

Speaking on Business has featured more than 2,500 businesses over the years. You have heard about companies with hundreds of employees and millions of dollars in annual revenue. You have also been introduced to sole-proprietors with one employee working out of his garage or basement. We have talked about companies under the direction of a fourth generation of ownership and companies just emerging from the incubator stage. I hope all of the stories were of interest and of some value.

I loved the opportunity to travel so I could visit and interview many of the program's subjects. I have been in shops, stores, factories, restaurants, fields and many business locations. I marvel at the entrepreneurial spirit of the people in our area. Frequently, I would get in my car after a visit and interview and say to myself, "Gee, why didn't I think of that."

I'm grateful to the many business owners who have allowed us to highlight them on the program. I'm most appreciative to you listeners who have made the program popular. I valued you emails, phone calls, letters and input regarding possible business to feature and suggestion to improve the program. I'm appreciative of the fine staff members who so ably assisted me preparing Speaking on Business. Mostly, I want to express deep appreciation to Scott Anderson, president of Zions Bank, for giving me the opportunity to join the staff of this exceptional organization. I have enjoyed my 14 plus years as an employee and can never adequately express the joy and satisfaction this relationship has provided.

So.. it is time for me to say "goodbye and thank you."

For the last time... for Zions Bank, I'm Fred Ball. I'm speaking on business.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG (2).. See Sept. 12 posting

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with you your entire life, is yourself. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

Cherish your health. If it is good preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

Tell the people that you love that you love them at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
The true value of a man is not in his wealth, but in his worth. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

"A" GOOD DAUGHTER MAKETH A GLAD FATHER."

Daughters are the most wholesome of the race; the sweetest,for they are the freshest from the heart of God. Whimsical, ingenious, loving, caring, sometimes mischievous, They fill my heart with joy, pride and good humor. Daughters add to the wonder of being alive. In all these ways, they keep their father YOUNG.

WHERE DAUGHTERS ARE NOT, HEAVEN IS NOT.

Daughters are natural mimics - they act like thier parents. In spite of every attempt to teach them good manners.

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.Let the doctors worry about them. That is why we pay them.

Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devils name is Alzheimer's

Enjoy the simple things.

Laugh often, long and loud.

Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county or to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

Youth and Age

Age is an interesting thing. Only children use fractions to tell their age. "I'm four and a half." You're never twenty three and a half or thirty six and a half.

You get into your teens, now there is no holding back. You jump to the next number or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm going to be 16." You could be 13, but hey, you're going to be 16! and then the greatest day of your life...you BECOME 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. You BECOME 21. Yesss!

But then, you TURN 30. Ooooh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He turned. We had to throw him out. There's no fun now. You're just a sour dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa. Put on the brakes. It's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and you're dreams are gone.

But, wait... you MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would. So, you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40 , REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70. After that is is day-to-day, You HIT Wednesday.

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle. You HIT lunch. You TURN 4:30, you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into your 90's you start going backwards. "I'm just 92."

Then a strange thing happens. You make is over 100. You become a little kid again. "I'm just 100 and a half."

The Lady Deserves a Medal!

How many people can say they have been married for 58 years? Joyce Worsencroft Ball and I celebrated our 58th anniversary in July. She was 19 years old and I was 20. Just a couple of kids who were ready for a new life. Our union resulted in four wonderful daughters; four great authentic achiever sons-in-law; 15 grandchildren and two great grandchildren (and another due in January.) We have traveled the world together, visiting every continent and 46 of the 50 states. My jobs necessited a great deal of travel and entertaining and she was always the gracious hostess and non-complaining traveler..

On Growing Old

Old age is winter, alas for many people, but for those who are wise and optimistic, it is a happy and fruitful time of harvest.

Is someone declares that he is able to do everything at sixty that he was able to do at twenty, then he was not doing very much at twenty.

As one grows old, one generally rids himself of his shortcomings because they no longer serve any useful purpose.

The good side of this, as old as one might be, is that one is always younger than he will ever be.

The person who considers himself too old to learn something has probably always felt that way.

Old age embellishes everything. It has the effect of the setting sun on the beautiful sunsets of autumn.

Great Grandbabies

Jack Jeffrey Dibblee

Eloise May Morrison

Some people ask, "Is there anything good about growing older?" Absolutely! One thing for certain is the blessing of family and greeting new members to the group. Recently, I have had the great joy of welcoming two new GREAT grand babies to the Ball Thundering Herd.

Confession

Catholic Confessional

An elderly gentleman went in the Catholic confessional. He said to the priest, "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I am seeing four beautiful 20 year old ladies at the same time."

The priest asks, "How long has it been since your last confession?"

"Oh, I have never been to confession before. I'm not a Catholic, I'm Jewish."

"Then why are you telling me?," the priest asks.

"Telling YOU," the old man says. "I'm telling EVERYBODY."

Santa Claus

There are four stages in a man's life: When he believes in Santa Claus. When he doesn't believe in Santa Claus. When he is Santa Claus. When he looks like Santa Claus.

My Favorite Things

Julie Andres recently celebrated her 69th birthday. In honor of the event she sang the following lyrics to "My Favorite Things." Don't just read the words. SING IT.

Botox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favoirte things.

Cadillacs and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,,

These are a few of my favorite things.

When my pipes leak, when the bones creak,

When the knees go bad.

I simply remember my favorite things ,

And then I don't feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pain, confused brains and no need for sinnin',

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',

And we won't mention our short shrunken frames.

When we remember our favoirite things.

When the joints ache, When the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I've had,

and then I don't feel so bad.

SILVER SNEAKERS

Many insurance companies encourage senior citizens to keep in shape and practice preventive medicine. "The Silver Sneakers" program allows membership is sports malls and gyms for trainer led exercise classes. I go every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and it is really helping me. I have gained strength and balance and it is enjoyable and benefidcial. There is no charge and the trainers are excellent. Another benefit? I have gained some new friends. I am appreciative to Humana for this very nice benefit.

Youth and Age

Age in an intersting thing. Only chilren use fractions to tell their age. "I'm four and a half." You're never twenty three and a half or thirty six and a half.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm going to be 16! You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna become 16! and then, the greatest day of your liefe... your BECOME 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony, You BECOME 21. YESSS!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohhh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!! - You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would.
so, you become 21, turn 30, push 40, reach 50 and make it to 60.

You've bult up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it is day-to-day, You HIT Wednesday,

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into your 90's you start gong backwards. I was just 92."

Then a strange thing happens. You make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm just 100 and a half."